I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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