I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize