She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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