Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize