I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
