have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
