is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
