You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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