What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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