no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
