bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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