our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pants are for mortals
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
