I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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