so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
