How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
