I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
