I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
