So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
