i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
