3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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