The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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