Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
