Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize