Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
