okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
