I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I touched a dick in church today
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
