You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
PANTIES FOUND
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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