hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just invented taco cereal.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
