my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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