thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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