the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
