we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
