I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
