Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.