Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So much rum. So many feels.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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