but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me