hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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