We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
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The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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