If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
