He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
