Your tits are I can't wait for
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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