You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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