office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
