We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
