My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
