my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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