im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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