i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
