Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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