The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
