I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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