i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
