Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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