nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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