drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
