the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
