i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
