I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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