he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
