omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
