bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
