If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
