I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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