yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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