The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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