You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize