I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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