Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
