i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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