Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
