I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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